Melbourne - Land of the Hat

You may not know this, but the PDA Police has a number of undercover agents in the fair city of Melbourne. YES. It's true. Far more brazen than their Sydney counterparts, they not only get within ridiculously close proximity of the subjects, they take further measures to humiliate offenders.

Observe. The Hat.





Notice the way they hover the hat overhead when they notice a potential PDA in progress...





Fine work. I thought for such a long time about what I could possibly write to go with this, but I'm really just so impressed I have nothing to say except - I love you guys. So much. Keep sending me pictures please.

Please sir, I want some more.

We live in a great country. A plentiful land, where there is always more than enough to go around. I mean most of us are fat and overindulged, we have way too many possessions, we waste our money - and we always want MORE. Why does it have to stop there?

I mean how many of you have been out at night, literally fending off women at every pass. It's just annoying after a while. You can take one home, but you leave countless more disappointed and horny. I admire this man:



Satisfying the PDA urge for not one, but TWO women. AT ONCE. Notice he is not kissing one, then the other. It's an attitude that says, "You know what ladies? I'm here, I'm willing - get in there". Whether it's enjoyable is irrelevant - it's the same mentality as those people who eat at Sizzler - quantity, not quality.